Follow your dreams

I have went out of my comfort zone to follow my dream in becoming a model. I entered buffalo chip poster model contest. I have made it to the semi-finals. Please help support me in taking this chance in life to making my dream into reality by going and sharing this post on facebook page.

Thank you in advance!

“Broken Soul”

Every day is a battle. I’m constantly fighting away, only thing that keeps me somewhat sane is when I pray. What’s going on in my mind isn’t worth the time to say its not like anyone truly understands what your dealing with anyway. I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m hurt, and I’m lost. I don’t know how to control my emotions and my thoughts. I’m a ticking bomb with all this rage inside. Luckily my faith is keeping me alive. The hope I hold onto that these battles will disappear. I’m constantly praying for strength that I need before I give up this year. Giving up is not one of my options but when I can feel the pain get stronger that surrounds within. It comes an option will quick than. I’m trying so hard to fight this away until the point I become exhausted and can’t get out of bed to start my day. Constantly crying because how unhappy I am with myself. This is not who I am or who I want to be. If I had one wish. I would wish these over thinking thoughts and fears would leave me. You see me as a whole but really I’m a broken soul. What I show on the out is not how I feel on the in. Hopefully that will change one day.

“Self Love”

Self love
Is what your body needs
We can all agree
Don’t hate your past
It shaped you to the person you are today
You can change what you don’t want to be
Your in control
And if your thoughts that aren’t yours take over
Get your mind back
Don’t give up
You’ll get stronger each mind battle
Eventually get back in control
All the thoughts that aren’t yours will be gone
It will be over
Show yourself respect
Know that your perfect
In someone’s eyes
Your a rare prize
Your self love should be first
Fighting for someone is the worst
You’ll lose yourself in a long run
Don’t fight for someone
If they want you
They will do everything to keep you
Self hate
Makes peace hard to find
Feeling insane by all the overthinking in your mind
Unhappy with the reflection in the mirror
Because your flaws are more clearer
Worrying if your good enough
Making life more rough
All because you put yourself down to much
Show yourself the love you deserve
Don’t listen to the negative people bring
What matters is the positive things
Live your life the way that makes you happy
Love yourself with pride
Don’t bring yourself down
Because all the negative you think about yourself is a lie

“Change For The Better”

My heart aches
From all the hatred this world demonstrates
Constant negative in the air
Nobody cares
Bringing one another down
Is a hobby
Instead of sending prayers
Words you say to someone
Has more affect than you think
You could change someones world upside down or you could bring them up onto their feet
Instead of leaving them down when there at their lowest
That’s what can cause mental illness
You should know this
Blaming everyone else for your problems
That’s bogus
Own up and change what you don’t like
Instead of typing it on facebook
That’s not going to help it get right
Guns aren’t an issue
The color of someones skin shouldn’t matter to you
The government is corrupt
We know this to
So why are we acting blind
By all the social medias fake news
Wake up and smell the roses
If you dont like what’s going on
Take action
Instead of posting it
That’s laziness
Something this country is known for
For years I’ve seen complaints on facebook
But nothing changed
History repeats the same issue
There will never be a little peace in this world
Because everybody is caught up in drama that’s not yours
Negative news is the trend
Everybody is into
But what people don’t realize its the issue
That’s causing all these tragedies
In this country
We are forgetting to put God first
Teach respect
And discipline
That’s what we need to do
Instead we are making kids famous who disrespect
Doing these stupid challenges
That later we’ll regret
Stop being stupid
And gain common sense
You would think after all that’s gone on
There would be a wake up call
Realize we need to stand together
Listen to all
And respond in respect
Come to an agreement
We all can live with
Stop letting history repeat itself
And make it a day nobody will ever forget

“Losing Sleep”

Nights I can’t sleep
My mind is into deep
Over thinking
Chest in pain
Feeling insane
Losing myself
By the thoughts that overcome my brain
Tears running down my face
Can’t hold them back
Or else I’ll be in more pain
Using more energy to fight back the sadness inside
Feeling chained
By all the thoughts and emotions
I feel drained
Up past 2 a.m
Work in the morning
Don’t know what to do to get this to go away
Needing to sleep
Or else I’ll feel weak
Not wanting to get out of bed
When its time to start the day to finish the week
My mind tells me to stay in bed
Exhausted by the thoughts going through my head
But I found the strength to get up
To go to work
Finish the last day of the week
Even though inside I really feel weak
I’ll make it through the day with a smile on my face
Not letting anyone see the pain at my workplace
Today will be a good day
Last night was a storm I was going through
This morning I got the strength to let the sun shine through
The dark clouds that overcome my mind
Will want to come back at times
Throughout my day
But I got to stay strong
And fight them away
Because I’m tired of stormy days
They make me feel weak
And its hard to get through my week
I lose myself
And sleep
Its not a combination that’s good for me to keep
I’m going to get my peace
One day these storms want overcome me
I want feel like I’m drowning in the sea
I will be set free

“You Lose Time With Social Media”

I was reading an article today with a photo of a man sitting alone at a restraunant. When really he wasn’t sitting alone. In front was his wife’s ashes, he took her to a Valentine’s day lunch. It really got me thinking. We won’t always have each other to hold, talk to, joke and laugh with, or even aggravaate every now and than. So we need to spend as much time with the people we love because life is short. You never know what could happen.

Don’t take anything for granted
Or else you might end up empty handed
Remember life is short
You never know what could happen to you or someone close to your heart
Social media shouldn’t be the start of your day
Or the first thing you want to do when you get some free time to play
Those are just apps that get in the way
Tear you apart from the ones close to your heart
Losing time from conversations or memories
Could be a lost treasury
A blink of an eye your world could turn around
All because you were to busy looking down
Instead of enjoying the ones that surround
You never know when its someone’s time to leave the day
To go somewhere far away
Until its to late
Wishing you could just see that person one more time
To tell them all the things that was on your mind
The feelings you had inside
What they meant to you
But that time was wasted
Looking down at social media
Which is an issue
Looking at peoples photos
Next to the one you love though
Silent and lost in the scolling
Watching videos for hours
Losing time when you could be surprising someone with flowers
Making memories
Unforgettable conversations
Planning vacations
Laughting for hours
Spending time with your love ones is what matters
Don’t change your actions when its to late
It will cause your heart to ache
Knowing you had more time to spend
Instead you were to busy scrolling, liking, commenting
Forgetting the people that mattered within

“You Can Be Saved”

Flowers grow back, even after they are stepped on. So will you!

You can be saved
From the thoughts that overcome
Memories that torment
All you have to do is believe your worth it
Don’t hide the darkness inside
Because of someone’s lack of discernment
Its always going to be with you
Until you get the courage to concede
The memories that you went through
No need to be a shame we all have a story hiding deep within
we tuck away
And never read again
Until our triggers are pressed
The memories come rushing back
And your mind becomes a mess
Your ego defense comes up instant
And your not who you are
You become depressed
Feel like a problem under distress
But you can be saved
Know your worth it
Your not alone battling the past
Don’t hide from the truth because that feeling will always last
If you need someone by your side
Don’t be afraid to ask
If they judge
Remember your stronger than the negative
Your dis-creating the past to positive
That takes bravery
Your opening close doors
Not knowing what’s inside
Ready to conquer this battle that you been putting off for some time
You can do it
You can be saved
Believe in yourself
Create peace in your mind
It will take time
But its worth it
You’ll be fine
Stay strong
Don’t hide the feeling away its not where it belongs