“Broken Soul”

Every day is a battle. I’m constantly fighting away, only thing that keeps me somewhat sane is when I pray. What’s going on in my mind isn’t worth the time to say its not like anyone truly understands what your dealing with anyway. I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m hurt, and I’m lost. I don’t know how to control my emotions and my thoughts. I’m a ticking bomb with all this rage inside. Luckily my faith is keeping me alive. The hope I hold onto that these battles will disappear. I’m constantly praying for strength that I need before I give up this year. Giving up is not one of my options but when I can feel the pain get stronger that surrounds within. It comes an option will quick than. I’m trying so hard to fight this away until the point I become exhausted and can’t get out of bed to start my day. Constantly crying because how unhappy I am with myself. This is not who I am or who I want to be. If I had one wish. I would wish these over thinking thoughts and fears would leave me. You see me as a whole but really I’m a broken soul. What I show on the out is not how I feel on the in. Hopefully that will change one day.

“Losing Sleep”

Nights I can’t sleep
My mind is into deep
Over thinking
Chest in pain
Feeling insane
Losing myself
By the thoughts that overcome my brain
Tears running down my face
Can’t hold them back
Or else I’ll be in more pain
Using more energy to fight back the sadness inside
Feeling chained
By all the thoughts and emotions
I feel drained
Up past 2 a.m
Work in the morning
Don’t know what to do to get this to go away
Needing to sleep
Or else I’ll feel weak
Not wanting to get out of bed
When its time to start the day to finish the week
My mind tells me to stay in bed
Exhausted by the thoughts going through my head
But I found the strength to get up
To go to work
Finish the last day of the week
Even though inside I really feel weak
I’ll make it through the day with a smile on my face
Not letting anyone see the pain at my workplace
Today will be a good day
Last night was a storm I was going through
This morning I got the strength to let the sun shine through
The dark clouds that overcome my mind
Will want to come back at times
Throughout my day
But I got to stay strong
And fight them away
Because I’m tired of stormy days
They make me feel weak
And its hard to get through my week
I lose myself
And sleep
Its not a combination that’s good for me to keep
I’m going to get my peace
One day these storms want overcome me
I want feel like I’m drowning in the sea
I will be set free

“You Can Be Saved”

Flowers grow back, even after they are stepped on. So will you!

You can be saved
From the thoughts that overcome
Memories that torment
All you have to do is believe your worth it
Don’t hide the darkness inside
Because of someone’s lack of discernment
Its always going to be with you
Until you get the courage to concede
The memories that you went through
No need to be a shame we all have a story hiding deep within
we tuck away
And never read again
Until our triggers are pressed
The memories come rushing back
And your mind becomes a mess
Your ego defense comes up instant
And your not who you are
You become depressed
Feel like a problem under distress
But you can be saved
Know your worth it
Your not alone battling the past
Don’t hide from the truth because that feeling will always last
If you need someone by your side
Don’t be afraid to ask
If they judge
Remember your stronger than the negative
Your dis-creating the past to positive
That takes bravery
Your opening close doors
Not knowing what’s inside
Ready to conquer this battle that you been putting off for some time
You can do it
You can be saved
Believe in yourself
Create peace in your mind
It will take time
But its worth it
You’ll be fine
Stay strong
Don’t hide the feeling away its not where it belongs


Smiling doesn’t necessary mean you’re happy. Sometimes it just means you’re strong.

I will smile through the pain
Nothing will stop me from getting through the day
Accomplishing my goals
Making my dreams come true
That’s what keeps me smiling away
I know I can do it
Even on days I want to cry myself to sleep
I’m stronger than the scars that were left on my soul from past memories
Smiling is my key to getting through the day
Its something that helps me get through the pain
Making people laugh
Helping the ones in need
Is what heals my broken soul
And toxic memories
I hate that I have triggers
Its a challenge to overcome
But a challenge I will except to get rid of them
I am greatful for what I’m dealing with
For when I’m healed
I can help the ones broken inside
And smiling on the out
Hiding and denying
What’s really going on in their mind


She has fire in her soul
No one can take the flame away
She has fire in her eyes
She’ll burn your heart to ashes
Watching it disappear in clear day
Her heart turns cold when you disrespect the things she say
She’ll get even with no mercy at play
Don’t underestimate a kind heart
Inside there is rage needing to be release
When that day comes, I hope you pray
The horns will be holding the halo up
She will combined a mean angel and a kind devil, ready to blow things up
Creating night to day
The fire burning bright inside will never fade away
Its a part of her soul and its there to stay
Never underestimate a kind heart
The rage will appear one day
When that day comes, I hope you pray
She’s a saint with the lips of a sinner
An angel with a devilish kiss
Those things come within her
When her soul is both fire and ice
It could be a crisis
Fire in her eyes
Words cold as ice
You never know whats hiding inside
What lies in the dark
Could be a rage
That’s waiting for that day
Someone to underestimate the kind heart
And push her to explode away
That’s the day, I hope you pray to take the madness with the smile away

“Inside Storm”

Inside is a raging storm
Anger, hurt, sadness
Taking over me
I want to give up
I want to run away
Or else the damn is going to collapse and all these emotions are going to break away
Barely make it through the day
Want be able to control what I say.
Exploding like a grenade
Tears running down my face
washing the smile away
No one understands the person I am
These feelings inside don’t just go away
I try to explain
I try to speak what I feel when I feel
To slowly kill the storm
But I just get pushed away
By the triggers being pressed
That’s keeping me scared to stay
I’m recognizing how I truly feel
Trying to heal
Needing someone by my side to understand this is real
These feelings don’t just go away
It being fixed overnight is insane
Explaining my feelings
Is me letting it out
Instead of keeping it in when really I want to shout.
I don’t expect comfort
I expect an understanding
Words that come out needs to be thought out before because sometimes that could hurt me even more
I’m just a fragile soul
That’s wanting to heal
Its not easy
But I know I’ll make it
I will not fail
I will prevail

“Trust Issues”

I’m scare to trust
I know I must
Its hard when I been left in the dust
Cheated on
And lied to so much
My past made me this way
Memories come to mind if my trigger was press some days
Those days are the toughest for me
Because those memories seem to stay
I want to trust
I really do
But it seems my fear takes over me
And makes me feel blue
Its not your fault for me not to trust
Its something that was there before you
I just think to much
I’m trying so hard to overcome these fears
I allowed myself to get out of my comfort zone this year.
When you think something is wrong its just me trying to control these feelings inside that I have stringing along.
I must say, I have came a long way
But its still not enough to keep me feeling sane.